Response

Imagination

Imagination can be both a blessing and a curse. It is truly endless. Literature, music, and other forms of art and invention are still being created anew, even after all the history of the earth. For example, there are countless arrangements of music. The possible combinations of notes, chords, voices, and instrumentation are never-ending. The same is true of language. Through language, imagination can create entirely new plots, characters, or settings, using any combination of words and phrases. Stories that already exist can be retold, and experienced again through the creative use of words.  Without imagination there would be no The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, no Harry Potter by JK Rowling, and no The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkein. However, while I love enjoying the imaginations of others and using my own, I often fall prey to it as well. Countless nights, my worst fears have been brought to vivid life in my head.

As a young child, I had nightmares of wicked characters, similar to Bellatrix Lestrange from Rowling’s Harry Potter, harming my family in awful ways. In middle and high school, I started having nightmares about dead, zombie-like people taking over like a plague, although I have always done my best to avoid shows about zombies on TV. Recently, I have been having nightmares of people trying to rip me away from my loved ones and my life and lock me up in some cold, barren cell. In these particular nightmares, my subconscious imagination creates the scenes of my deepest, most petrifying fears -- being imprisoned and separated from my family.

When I first wake up from these nightmares, my initial reaction is one of relief at the realization, which seems almost too good to be true, that none of it was real. Throughout the day, however, the worst ones stick in my mind like a parasite, and torment me with feelings of terror and depression. It’s as though they have left a residue on me, so that every time I shut my eyes, I see the images from my dreams, and all the horror floods back.

Even during waking hours, if I think too long about the wrong things, I can be paralyzed by the thoughts and feelings my imagination can conjure. Even though I try to reason with myself, and shove away the demon in my head, they continue to torture me, and have a significant effect on my daily life.

However, blessings can be drawn out of curses. Much of my best writing I do during times of great distress. Often, by writing, I can prevent the nightmares and fears from taking hold of me. If I can harness them, I can wield my emotions to defend myself with poetry. I begin to focus more on the different ways words can be put together. Like a flame, the art of words dances across the page before me, lighting the darkness.

One thing that strikes me is how much variation there is in the universe, and how much creativity went into its design. God clearly wanted us to enjoy this world and its wonders, and I believe that He supplies us with our own imagination and inspiration in the world around us. I do not believe that He wants us to suffer, but I believe that He creates good out of the pain that we experience. All this seems to be evidence of a divine imagination.

Sometimes when I write, I feel like the words aren’t coming from me. I think maybe God uses people to speak for Him, and that one of the great, mysterious ways He communicates with people is through imagination. There are those who say that every good idea comes from heaven. I have heard stories of people making scientific discoveries that came from their dreams. Imagination is a trait that, I believe, God has shared with us.

The most terrifying thing about nightmares is that I almost always think they are real. However, it is often that mistaken belief which actually leads to my freedom from the unbearable lie. My desperate longing for some miraculous escape from the horrible situation is often what ignites the precious idea in my imagination: what if all this turned out to be nothing but a dream? This marvelous thought rapidly morphs into a sweet, desperate hope, and almost immediately into a prayer. In that glorious moment, I open my eyes and experience the most beautiful feeling of release and freedom.

God has been arming me against my nightmares in other ways, as well. He helps me use my imagination, both conscious and unconscious, so that I do not become a victim of it. He does so through the creative use of other peoples’ imaginations as well as my own. He helps me build off of the stories other people have created.

A few years ago, my sister, Lizzy, introduced me to the recent reboot of the old science fiction show, “Doctor Who”. The show features a human-looking alien who travels through time and space in his signature blue police box. While the show is marked by endearing and lovable characters, it also has its share of heart-wrenching moments, grotesque monsters, and spine-chilling scenes. At first, I was always afraid of watching it, especially before bed, because I worried it would cause more nightmares, although they seem to plague me no matter what I do or do not watch.

On the contrary, “Doctor Who” has actually helped me with my nightmares. Lately, my dreams have been more hopeful, usually ending in triumph. Several times, I have found that in my dreams, when some horror reveals itself, the Doctor and his companions enter the scene as well. Just as in the show, he solves the riddle of the situation, and prevails on the side of good. Instead of despair and doom, the Doctor and his companions bring hope and the strength of human character to the atmosphere of the dream. Happy endings usually involve a mysterious blue box.